As communion was being handed out to everyone, and hadn’t yet reached my row, my friend sitting next to me leaned over and whispered, “What attitude are we supposed to have during this? Are we supposed to be sad?”

I said, “I think we are just supposed to remember what Jesus did.”

He said, “It just always seems awkward to me.”

A minute later, as I’m holding my little cup and little cracker, I thought about how it’s always been a little awkward for me too—praying and being thankful when you are told to be so. But I’ve always decided to do my best to seek God through it, because he calls us to remember what he has done for our own benefit.

Here’s how it went:

I started by telling God that I didn’t really know what to say, but that I was thankful he brought me out of death with his own.

Then I remembered the verse that says Jesus despised the shame of the cross.

It is the same God who desires his own glory, who is seated on a throne above all rule and authority, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the God who created the stars and heavenly bodies to give a glimpse to us of his own glory; the God whose throne issues out streams of fire and whose face shines brighter than the sun.

I ate my little cracker and drank my tiny amount of juice, but more importantly I realized that Jesus who desires love, endured hate; desiring glory and honor, endured shame and was cursed; desiring righteousness, put our sin upon himself and suffered the wrath of his father for it.

With communion, or hearing sermons, or reading the bible, or going to small groups, etc., it seems to me that if you do it to be religious, you will be just that. But if you use these things solely to help you seek the face of the living God, you will throw away religious rites and actually find him.