Leading in a church occasionally feels like having your life on display, which isn’t actually a bad thing, but makes me feel a little like Dr. Jekyl. I’m thankful I have no excuse to slip into complacency—honestly I am. I’m thankful I have to pray my head off before bible studies, meetings with people, time with roommates, etc., to ask God to use a wicked person like me to actually do something that matters, rather than participate in religion/just be selfish with my time.

But I feel like Jekyl in that I am still really sinful. I think bad thoughts, I get really angry sometimes at work, I am easily frustrated, those closest to me know how selfish I can be. I feel like if people from my bible study ran into me on a bad day at work, they’d write me off immediately as the joke I quite possibly am. But God uses the weak, and he didn’t come to save the righteous but the unrighteous.