Veritas Magazine

Life isn't always easy. Sometimes you want. And want. And want.
And you don't get it.

Sometimes you don't understand anything.
Sometimes you fall for the eighth time and wonder if you are righteous anymore.
Sometimes you think, "Does everyone see through me?"
Sometimes you think, "I'm the odd one and no one understands. I'm all alone."

Does God hear prayers?
Is this Christianity cultural? Are we just following people? What is all this hanging out about? When we are old, will it last?

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1 Corinthians 1:11-13
For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? 

Recently, It seems like I’ve been encountering a lot of people who esteem certain people and teachings above others. Whether ancient famous reformers, modern day celebrity pastors, or modern “relevant”...
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1 Timothy 1:5
The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to make a disciple. Many people think that the goal is to bring someone to church and keep them in church. Others think it means to share the Gospel with someone, and see them saved, and that’s it. Some people think that it means sharing the Gospel, seeing them saved, and then bringing them to your church and getting...
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This morning I thought about the gospel (intentionally because for me it doesn’t exactly just happen), and I found myself realizing a couple things:

1. Everything Christ gave me is something he gave up on the cross: riches, holiness, love, life, etc.
2. It takes more power to turn a wretch into a saint than it does to turn nothing into a universe or dust into a man.
3. The love of God greatly changes one’s morning.

I heard a sermon about the gospel not being just for...
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There are days when a haze comes over me and I forget why I’m doing anything that I’m doing in life.

I think, Wake up, go to work, go to Christian function, go to bed. Is this the adventurous abundant Christian life I was promised? and then invariably let fantasy and laziness take over.

I’m a far cry away from, “I’ve found a man after my own heart,” (Acts 13:22) because I know that my dying sympathy for the lost and for the people of God all relates to a dying prayer life.

I need God to live for...
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“How in the world do you love someone when they annoy the crap out of you!?!?” is what someone as wicked as me often ponders—with exclamation point prayers.

Sometimes we pray things like, “God, fix this person. They are so sinful and foolish that it’s driving me crazy.”

But the Bible tells us to overlook faults, and says things like, “We always thank God for you.” Was Paul so blind that he didn’t see the crazy sin in people’s lives? How was he able to thank God and love people and force...
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Colossians 2:6
And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him.

What does it mean to follow Christ? He has to be my Lord today the same way he was when I confessed him as Lord.

And what was that? When I accepted Christ I told him I was done with this world and every deceptive thing it offered me. I told him I hated sin and was sick of it ruining my life. I told him I knew I offended him every day of my life, and...
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Matthew 3:16-17
And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him, and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

When we as sinners come out of the waters of repentance and are “baptized” in Christ for the forgiveness of sins, heaven becomes open to us. If we die that minute, two years later, or in our old age...
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Psalm 28:1-2
To you, O LORD, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit.

Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.

When I read this today I thought about how I have to call upon the Lord almost every moment when I’m around others. I call on him for help just to listen to someone talking,...
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Leading in a church occasionally feels like having your life on display, which isn’t actually a bad thing, but makes me feel a little like Dr. Jekyl. I’m thankful I have no excuse to slip into complacency—honestly I am. I’m thankful I have to pray my head off before bible studies, meetings with people, time with roommates, etc., to ask God to use a wicked person like me to actually do something that matters, rather than participate in religion/just be selfish with my time.

But I feel like Jekyl in that I am still really sinful. I...
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1 Thessalonians 5:9-10
For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.

I have been praying a lot that God would get rid of my lazy and complacent attitude, where all my determination and passion lies in being comfortable and doing as little as possible to seek the Lord, allowing me to breeze through the Christian life.

As I was sitting down to read today I prayed, “Just teach me how to...
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Here is my life in a nutshell:

God is amazing; he actually wants my heart.

“God, I know you are good. If you never give me this it’s ok, but I’m praying for it.”

“God, how long do I have to wait? I’m trying to trust you.”

“God, it is so hard to give this up to you. Why do you want to take everything from me?”

“God, where are you? What do you want from me?”

“God, I’m not even worth...
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I was reading in a coffee shop when a man came up to me and said, “I noticed you reading the bible there. Mind if I sit down?”

Judging by his suit and tie I figured he was either:
A: Mormon
B: Old School Baptist Evangelist (one of my hopes is that I’ll be approached by one of these)
C: Jehovah’s Witness

As he sat down and started questioning grace, the full atonement of Christ for our sins for all time, and the deity of Christ, I breathed out a little...
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I go to cemeteries to pray sometimes now that it’s nice out. Here’s a short list of the things I saw and thought about today:

1. A huge stone crucifix. That was God hanging there, being punished, alone, for us.

2. The infant section.

3. A giant building dedicated to the Masons and their dead.

4. A deer, 10 feet away from me. We stared at each other for a minute.

5. Tombstones with one spouse’s birth and death date, and...
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In my attempt to pray in thanksgiving to God before I pray for anything else, today I was choosing to dwell on the love of God and how he has saved me.

It dawned on me in a fresh way today how God has given us all things, the day we came to know him.

Ephesians 1:3 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places."

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Isaiah 53:12
Therefore will I divide Him a portion with the great [kings and rulers], and He shall divide the spoil with the mighty, because He poured out His life unto death, and [He let Himself] be regarded as a criminal and be numbered with the transgressors; yet He bore [and took away] the sin of many and made intercession for the transgressors (the rebellious). (Amplified Bible)

Sometimes I think the words “bore” and “propitiation” (1 John 4:10) are glanced over too quickly.

“He bore the sin of many and made intercession…” 1...
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I’ve spent the last two months, maybe longer, telling God I refuse to trust him.

So many things in my life seemed to be the opposite of how I wanted them to go. Then I’d pray and try to trust God and things would get worse.

Waiting on the Lord didn’t turn into getting what I wanted, but more waiting. Trusting that God was good in bad circumstances didn’t allow me to eventually get free of my situation, but rather have all exits and escape routes closed in my face. Believing that God...
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Psalm 37:4-5
Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.

If I were only to make God and his will my very heartbeat, then I would get everything I’ve ever wanted. For my heart would beat after Christ, and I would get Christ.

I believe God has set our hearts and minds up in such a way that the deeply rooted desires we have are indeed rooted in God and...
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1 Corinthians 4:8-13

Already you have all you want! Already you have become rich! Without us you have become kings! And would that you did reign, so that we might share the rule with you! For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, like men sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men. We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. To the...
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Mark 12:28-31

28 And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other...
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Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written in it, for the time is near. (Revelation 1:3)

And behold, I am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book. (Revelation 22:7)

I recently heard a pastor urge people to read the book of Revelation out loud, with no interruptions. He said it would change their 2009.

I’ve been reading it (not out loud) for a few...
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Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

Here’s something I can’t stop thinking about:

God created man.
Therefore, God has full rights over man.
An inventor can destroy an invention with no moral qualms or use it for any purpose he deems appropriate. He is the inventor.
Here we are, creation, at the beck and call of our Creator.

What did he ask of...
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I met with a friend today who has been walking with the Lord a lot longer than me, and without thinking I emptied out all my frustration about the difficulties of trying to live for Christ; trying to grab a hold of the grace of God while being so proud, close friends stabbing me in the back, people leaving, people using me, being confused, tired, drained, lonely, and trying desperately to rely on God daily for strength but failing due to my own laziness and evil.

“Wrestle with God,” is what he told me.

There are two verses I read today which I pray I’ll take seriously in the days and months to come. The first is 2 Corinthians 9:8, which says, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”

I noticed at the bottom of my ESV Bible it says that “sufficiency” could also be translated as “contentment,” which sort of put things into perspective. Because according to Philippians 4:12-13, we can have contentment despite our circumstances through Christ....
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“How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?” John 5:44

I love the logic here. Believing in God means believing that what he says is true, because what we have to know God is the Bible. Really believing in what God says naturally entails banking your life on it. (How can I say I really believe something if how I spend my time, money, energy, etc., doesn’t reflect it? And how can I say I believe if my relationships with others don’t...
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Recently I was reunited with a guy I went to high school with who was not exactly someone I ever hung out with or even talked to much. I got a chance to talk to him the other night. He broke into tears thinking about how far from the Lord he was. In utter humility he listened to God; all I had to do was point out a few verses for him to read. The following morning he gave his life to Christ and asked me and another guy to baptize him.

There is another situation going...
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“And Jesus said to him, ‘Go your way; your faith has made you well.’ And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.” (Mark 10:52)

As I read this today, I found it interesting that Jesus said, “…your way,” knowing that the formerly blind man would choose to follow him.

I realize more and more that the only reason humans exist is to experience God. Your life was designed by God who alone knows the true path to experiencing life. If by reason you discover that life exists only through God,...
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I’m starting to realize that Thanksgiving isn’t a holiday; it has to be my life. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

All over the Old and New Testament there are various commands telling us to be thankful, to remember what God has done, to think of things that are good. Is this just Christianity trying to convince me that it is real? Am I just forcing a good mood upon myself by referencing good...
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As communion was being handed out to everyone, and hadn’t yet reached my row, my friend sitting next to me leaned over and whispered, “What attitude are we supposed to have during this? Are we supposed to be sad?”

I said, “I think we are just supposed to remember what Jesus did.”

He said, “It just always seems awkward to me.”

A minute later, as I’m holding my little cup and little cracker, I thought about how it’s always been a little awkward for me too—praying...
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The how and why I was in court being sued for 250,000 dollars isn’t at all interesting. But I was sitting during one of many tedious medical depositions when I noticed the shadow cast by my lawyer's water bottle. I was reminded of the Bible verses comparing earthly things, rituals, and laws to a mere shadow of the heavenly things to come.

On a scrap of paper I wrote something like: "A shadow of a water bottle is a black silhouette, two-dimensional, and immovable—save for the movement of the bottle from which the shadow falls....
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I can safely say that if there is one thing I’ve sought out in my life—just one thing that has captivated all of my effort, time, money, and thoughts—it’s this: acquiring the love that the world promises us.

In high school and especially college, I was constantly seeking this kind of love, somehow knowing it to exist. I romanticized every relationship I was in and tried to conform it to the image I had in my head. I’d write notes. I’d give gifts. I’d compliment. I’d be creative. I’d be sensitive. And I’d think...
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I've been living the Christian life for a little over a year and three months now. It's been extra insane but really fulfilling and not at all what I thought it would be and really very good and great. But today that isn't what we are talking about.

Today we are talking about one totally regular day when I was stubborn and lazy in my faith and obedience as per-usual:

I had a crazy day at work where I felt like I had completely let my selfish desires (default me)...
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