Des Moines Area Regional Transit Authority (DART) is providing a free bus riding training course on Tuesday. Here’s the dilemma: How do you get to bus riding training if you a) don’t own a vehicle, and b) need a course to learn how to use public transportation?

So, Veritas has some suggestions for alternate transportation:

From the South Side:
Wrangle an ostrich at the Blank Park Zoo and ride it, Swiss Family Robinson style.

From the Northeast Side:
“Borrow” a car from World of Wheels on NW 2nd.

From Downtown:
Too bad you sold your car to pay for that loft. Guess you’re out of luck.

Drake Neighborhood:
Trade a college student a box of Ramen noodles for a half-mile ride.

From the West:
You don’t need the bus. Just drive your Hummer. Unless you want to save gas, then take your Prius.

From Living History Farms:
Take the horse and buggy for a spin... and cause a traffic jam on Hickman.

From the Great Ape Trust:
Put on some Birkenstocks and wool socks and swim up the icy Raccoon River.