But for you, O Lord, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
Psalm 38:15

Why don't I wait on the Lord, my God? If he is really my God, then why do I struggle to wait on his provision and instead seek less-adequate provision? I find it quite profound that it is the Lord and only the Lord's answer that will satisfy my life. For my entire Christian walk, this has been a tough swallow.

God has not made me a very eloquent person. I am not one of those who just seem to attract others to my presence. It has left me with a desperation for attention, especially for persons of the opposite sex. I have a strong desire for a companion, because of some sort of perceived loneliness.

So, is my God mocking my weakness? Is he tempting me with wanting a spouse—something that is not inherently wrong—and then not giving it to me? Is he giving me an unrealistic challenge or insurmountable hurdle?

Well, yes, he is giving me something that I cannot do on my own. I need God to get through this war for my heart. I think God wants my whole heart, and so I think he is using this area of my life to get at it.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

God will provide my escape.

I think an even greater thought is this: that in this circumstance, it is not only that God will provide my escape, in fact, he is my escape. He wants me to know that I have his full attention. David knew:

You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts towards us; none can compare with you! Psalm 40:5

God perfectly knows, loves, and has chosen me. This is so much better than any person (even a spouse) could ever provide.

Simply put, God loves me. And that is enough.

However, I need to say this: This simple concept will probably take my whole life to comprehend and put in place. So here I am. I think I am going to wait on God. Wait for a spouse. Wait for children. Wait for ______. Because he will give me exactly what I need when I need it. He will answer.