It would be an understatement to say that after Jesus happened to me a lot changed in my life. A more accurate picture from an outsider’s perspective would be like someone knocked me over the head, hid my unconscious body, and replaced me with a Denafied version of Ned Flanders.

I didn’t realize it until I was my post-Jesus self, but things had crept into my life and taken over. Seemingly harmless things had become little addictions that defined me and fed my selfishness. Video games, for instance. If you play them, you know what I’m talking about—hours of your life get sucked away and you don’t know where they went, then you’re left feeling empty even after you got all the unlockables. So you get another game. Anime was another one for me. Even though I never watched American TV, I more than made up for it with the blocks of time I devoted to Japanese cartoons. When I finished one series, I hunted for others to take its place.

These are just two small examples of my habits. I was addicted to more outright harmful things, too, like hating people. I couldn’t stop being crude, and I didn’t know how to relate to people without snide comments, sarcasm, or cussing. I was a slave to my passions. I was compulsively occupied with myself, my desires, my wants, my needs, with little regard for the wellbeing of others (unless affecting someone else would negatively affect me).

I may sound like I’m being harsh on myself, but compared to the holiness of Christ, I realized that I was a slave to all kinds of vices, big and little. Video games and anime may seem tame (and I’m certainly not saying they’re outright evil), but the real problem was how I was spending my time—countless hours on myself and what I wanted. I never had much of a notion of self-sacrifice, and giving in to time-wasters was one outward indicator of my inherent selfishness.

It wasn’t until I found Jesus that I even realized I had problems to begin with. Fortunately, not only did he point out my sins, he also gave me the power to overcome them. I knew I had a new spirit in me when I cared about changing. I wanted to change. And when I tried, I could change.

I have to admit, it was easier to give up the mindless entertainment than it was to adopt a self-sacrificing attitude. In fact, I find it extremely difficult to love others as Jesus has commanded me—to love and give without expecting anything in return. But I’m able to try—I want to try—and when I fail, instead of giving up and going back to my selfish ways, God gives me so much grace that I don’t even consider turning from him.

Romans 6:2-4
“How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”