I think it started when I worked on the eleventh floor. I spent a lot of time in the elevator and I noticed something. There’s that moment of unspoken negotiation about who gets out first when an elevator stops. Sometimes people just barrel to the entrance. Sometimes whoever is closest to the door gets out first. There were a few times when the door stopped and I would look over at the man in the elevator next to me and I would get the nod that means, “You go first.” These hints of chivalry are rare. The door-opening, hat-tipping, gentlemanly types are as antique as tales of fire-breathing creatures.

But there’s still something about chivalry that stirs that heart of both men and women, and it goes beyond manners. The dictionary definition of chivalrous is “having the qualities of chivalry such as courage, courtesy and loyalty; considerate to women; gallant; gracious and honorable toward an enemy, especially a defeated one, and toward the weak or poor.”

Gregory Schmidt, producer-director of the Nebraska Renaissance Faire and Festivals International defines chivalry as “placing yourself at the service and protection of others.”

Schmidt says although chivalry doesn’t appear to have a place in our society today – except in obscure social groups – it should. “It places men who have the physical strength and financial resources to uphold the dignity and protection of women and children,” he says. “A practical way to show it is to offer protection and allegiance to a woman and/or family without expecting anything physical in return.”

Being chivalrous today is different from medieval times, but the principles are still the same. Dr. Patricia Tice, owner of Etiquette Iowa, says that being chivalrous is being a gentleman. She teaches the young men in her classes to open doors, pull out chairs, and offer their arms to women.

“It evokes in us a sense that maybe there is some civility still in the world today,” she says. “And it’s a refreshing thing given the fact that the pendulum seems to have swung so much the other way. I even go so far as to teach my boys that if they happen to be walking along the street with a date to walk on the outside of the girl. It’s not necessarily to protect them, although that’s a side benefit. The bigger part of it is that it makes the girl feel really special, and it shows how polite and caring the gentleman is. It sounds like a little thing, but it means a lot.”

Being a gentleman, Tice says, is being aware of the world around you. “Part of the problem is there are too many of us that are so self-absorbed we don’t have a feel for what’s going on with other people,” she says. "We’re too caught up in our own business and our own issues.”

Learning and practicing chivalrous behavior can counteract some of that. And it has other benefits.

“When the gentleman waits for the lady to exit the elevator first or when he opens the door for her or when he pulls out her chair, it makes him feel better about himself," she says. "It helps him feel more confident that he’s really meeting her needs and showing her that he cares that much.”

And chivalry doesn’t go unnoticed. Someone stopping and opening a door or offering to carry something heavy is so different than the usual sea of rushing people attached to cell phones. It’s a reminder of humanity. I loved exiting the elevator first because each time it was as if the man in the elevator with me was saying, “I notice that another human being is in this elevator with me, and I want to make sure she gets where she is supposed to be going." Plus, it’s nice to feel like a lady.