As Tim mentioned weeks ago, we recently got engaged. Instantly, the wedding plans ensued. I never understood why people hired wedding planners until I started planning my wedding. It is a ton of work.

Shortly after I got engaged, I was trying to glean some marriage advice from a friend who had been married for about six months. She said that marriage was such a shock for her because she had single-handedly planned their wedding, so everything was what she wanted. When their event was over and real life began, she entered a world of compromise—something that she hadn’t been used to during the engagement.

I took the advice to heart. I don’t want my wedding to be all about me. I don’t want to be a crazy bride, capable of landing on a TLC reality show. I’ve known that it is the world’s lie that a wedding is the one day it’s all about you. My life is never about me; it should be about serving and loving others.

But there is a problem. I am the one who has to make all of the decisions. And as much as I don’t want to believe the bride-to-be lies, they creep in. I am battling the lie that my wedding will somehow define me. I want to meet certain people’s unspoken expectations—of people who I never see, who may not even come to the wedding. I want to impress people. All of these thoughts and lies boggle my mind as I try to be decisive.

But in the end, it is really depressing. When I am consumed with what I want and a day that is all about me, life begins to seem hopeless. The facade of perfection begins to be my goal, and that is not real, nor is it glorifying to God. All of my hope is in one day.

Shortly after I got engaged, I read Psalm 40:3 and it gave me a mission statement for my wedding.

“He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.”

I want my day to be about the hope that I have in the Lord. I want people to see the new song that God has given Tim and I—that our lives have changed by his grace. I want people to see that and to put their hope in God.

That is much less depressing than picking out napkin colors.